The MisAdventures of Felix the Cat
by The Darklight Angel
Summary: A bunch of short, wacky tales involving the experiences of Felix the catdemon! But it's not just her. As long as Felix is around, she'll drag everyone with her!
1. Of Beaches and Pirates

The MisAdventures of Felix the Cat

: Welcome to the Misadventures of Felix the cat. Felix the cat is a character based on my friend, flame–tiger. She's helping me out with the story. We'll be doing a script-ish dialogue before each chapter, whenever we seem to be doing something, it will be in bold. I'm not sure where she is now though…

**-Flame tiger bursts in out of nowhere-**

Me: -**stares at a jewelry covered flame- **Where in hell were you? And…what are you wearing?

Flame: I was out. Like my bling? **-Takes a step…and falls-**

Me: **-backs away- **Uh… yeah, I'm just going to start the story now…

Disclaimer – I own Rayne and Felix. And I think the pirates too. Otherwise, I own nothing –**mutters**- although I wish I did...

* * *

Felix flashed her fangs in a grin. She had been waiting for this day awhile now. She was at the beach. And what a good day it was to be there. The sun was shining the temperature was perfect. A lot of people had the same idea as the cat-demon too. Many people were on the beach, and it looked like some of the orders were having a day off there. "Fun time starts…..now!" Felix yelled out. She took a step forward…and promptly fell down about two meters. Felix groaned as she hit the ground, with swirls in her eyes. 

"I thought cats always land on their feet." A dry voice said. Felix blinked and looked up. Rayne stood looming above her, cocking an eyebrow. "They always do!" Felix retorted, staring back defiantly at the commander. "Then why are you on the ground?" Rayne snickered.

"Whatever." The cat huffed. "Help me up!" Rayne crossed her arms and looked out to sea. "I don't think so." "Help me up!" "No." "Yes!" "No." "Yes!" "Fine then." Rayne reached a hand down to Felix, who was smiling in triumph. "Thank you." Rayne, whose face was emotionless, suddenly grinned evilly. "Don't thank me yet." Felix looked at her in confusion. "What do you mean by tha-"Felix's sentence was cut off as Rayne flung Felix up. "NNNNYYYYAAAAA!!!!!" She screamed out as she flew through the air.

'This reminds me of when we first met.' She thought as she sailed through the sky.

-Flashback-

_Felix (as her child self) walked across the playground, up to little Rayne, who was playing in a sandbox, slowly. "See-saw?" She pointed to the afore-mentioned behind her. Rayne looked up from her sand castle, look to the see-saw, flashed a cool glance to Felix, and shook her head. "No." "Please?" Felix whimpered out, staring at her pleadingly. _

"_No."_

"_Please?"_

"_No."_

"_Please?"_

"_No."_

"_Please?"_

"_No."_

"_Please?"_

"_Fine."_

_A clearly annoyed Rayne gritted her teeth, and glared at a cheering Felix. She stood up, brushed herself off, and walked over to the teeter-totter. Felix quickly scrambled after her. She jumped up onto it, and sat down quickly. Rayne took her place on the other end, and pushed them off. Felix seemed to be having the time of her life, but Rayne was clearly bored. Suddenly, a mischievous gleam came to her eyes._

"_What're you doing?" Felix asked Rayne, as she suddenly jumped off her end, leaving Felix on the ground. "You'll see." Was her answer. Felix twitched one of her ears, and blinked confusedly at her companion, as she jumped up onto the fulcrum of the playground equipment. Felix only had time to blink once more, before she was launched into the air when Rayne jumped down onto her end. Rayne dusted her hands off and shaded her eyes as she watched Felix fly off into the distance. _

-End Flashback-

"…AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!" Felix continued screaming. A loud SPLASH was seen and heard as Felix hit the water. "Nya! Help! I can't swim!" The cat-demon started flailing in the water, screaming for help. Rayne ran up to the shore. "You know you're only in shallow water." She drawled, cocking her hip to the side and raising an eyebrow at her. "NYAA-" Felix froze suddenly, blinking and stood up. She looked down at the water, looked around herself, sat and started screaming and flailing again. "NYAAAA!" Rayne rolled her eyes and sighed. "You're an idiot."

* * *

After Felix had finally been dragged out of the water, she had decided to go off and do some beach-combing. Had it been anything else, Rayne would've come with her. She thought beach-combing was perfectly safe. Oh how wrong she was. 

Felix skipped along merrily, holding her bucket full of things she had found by her side. "There's one!" she yelled out, and ran forward to scoop it up. She smiled proudly at it, and held it up to the light to examine. That's when she noticed it; she was standing in front of a huge cave entrance. "Coooooolll…" she gasped out. She dropped her bucket, swished her tail, and ran into the cave.

"Why is it so dark in here?" she mumbled as she bumped into another stalagmite. She wandered through the darkness for another hour or so, before she came to a well-lit peculiar room. It had a waterfall and a lake in the midst of it; but the oddest part, was the pirate ship in the middle of the lake.

"Wonder how that got in here?" Felix thought as she bounded up the entrance plank to the ship. Once she got into the deck, she gasped at what she saw. "Treasure…" she breathed out as he golden piles of …gold glimmered in front of her. "TEASURE!" Felix jumped into the gold and laughed out loud. She started swimming around in the gold and 'Nya'-ing over and over again.

Suddenly something grabbed her by the shirt collar, and she was face to face with an angry pirate. "Aaarrrghh, what do we have here?" He snarled and looked into her eyes angrily. "Ah, well, I was just looking around, ya know, I'm new here, I got lost …… so heh, I'll be leaving now?" Felix grinned nervously. "I think not, matey." He said evilly.

He dropped her on the floor, and suddenly an army of pirates were surrounding her. "Take her to the brig, and lock the cat up!" The pirate captain roared (He's the guy holding her). "Oh yeah, well your a stupid, fat pirate who has British teeth!" Felix yelled as one pirate picked her up again, and dragged her to the brig.

The door slammed shut, and Felix snarled and ripped at the door. "I am not a cat! I am a-" Felix froze again and mewed happily. "Yay!!" She started ripping at and mewing at the curtain that she saw at a blinding speed. "Nya! Nya! Nya! Nya!!" Felix stooped 'Nya'-ing as soon as she realized the curtain was gone. "Nyaaa…" She sighed out, and scratched where he curtain was. Her ears twitched at the clinking sound it made.

She looked up curiously. A window. A grin made her way into Felix's face as she busted out of the window shattering the glass into a million pieces. "Nya!" She yelled out as she sprinted through the cave. "I'm FREE!! F-R-E-" Felix was cut-off as she ran into something near the entrance. She groaned and looked up to see a glaring Rayne. Rayne's eyes hidden, she growled, picked up her tail, and threw her into the air. "NNNNNYYYAAAAA!!!!!!"

To be continued…

* * *

So, this is a collection of silly-fics, all centering on the antics of Felix. As I said, flame tiger will be helping me out with them. Expect more soon. Oh, and as you can tell from the story, Felix says Nya a lot. Nya basically translates meow in japanese. And Felix is part cat demon, so yeah. Any comments before we finish, Flame? 

Flame: -**still on the floor-** Don't do drugs! Stay away from MJ!

And…yeah….what she said. Anyways, the theme for the next chapter:

Felix is a superhero! That no-one…wants the help of. Review, don't review, your choice. Laters!


	2. The Cloak Incident

Chapter Two- The cloak incident

Welcome to the second chapter of 'The misadventures'. Note that most of these ficlets occur in normal age time, which means Rayne is 13. Also, in this chapter, we have a special guest appearance of Maria Despair!

**Maria walks up waving**

Flame: Hello Maria. How are you?

Maria: I'm good. A little tired, but good.

DA: Alright then. Felix, would you like to do this disclaimer?

Felix: Disclaimer- Rayne and –

**A nearby wall explodes violently. MJ appears, dancing and singing**

**DA: -Blinks- **That was odd. Anyways, Felix, the disclaimer please?

**-Turns to see Felix huddled up in a corner-**

DA: Oh God. Flame, do something about Felix. Flame?

-**Sees Flame huddled up next to Felix-**

**DA**: Okay then….MJ, you do it then.

MJ: Alright!

Felix and Flame: NOOOOOO! Don't let him! The world will end if he does it!

MJ: Disclaimer- Rayne belongs to Dark Angel. Maria belongs to Xenolord. Felix-

–**Felix cringes at the sound of her name-**

**-**belongs to both Flame-tiger and Dark-Angel. All three don't own me. They also don't own Robina.

DA: Let the story begin!

* * *

"Here you go Felix" Rayne smirked as she handed the cat demon a bucket and mop. "Have fun."

Felix glared at the commander and trudged off sullenly.

"Why do I have to do this?" She grumbled. "I mean comon! I leave some invisible weapons lying around, get pirates after me, disobey a couple of order, and she blows up at me, and forces me to do THIS!"

Felix sighed as she walked into the laundry room, and filled the bucket up with water. She dipped the mop into it, and slapped it onto the floor. After swabbing it for a few minutes, she tilted her had as she spotted something on a nearby counter.

The mop clattered as it hit the floor. Felix ran to it, and quickly pinked it up. She gasped as she got a clear view of it.

It was black on the inside and white on the out, and it appeared to be reversible, with a hood. The demon fingered the cloak gingerly. It seemed to be made of a smooth, light material, which was very durable. It was perfect for keeping heat in and cold out, or vice versa. Stitched in small, precise print on the front were two letters: R.A

"This is Rayne's favourite cloak!" Felix exclaimed as she saw the initials. "I'd probably better give it to her." She turned to the door, but stopped suddenly. "Or…" A wily smile played across her face. "I could have some fun."

"Ow!" Felix rubbed her head and hissed at the chest she was digging through. She dove into it again, and gave a happy 'nya!' as she found what she was looking for: A thin, long strip or black cloth. Retracting a claw (part of her cat demon abilities, she cut off part of it, and bit out two holes.

She dropped it, and pulled the cloak over her shoulders. Fumbling with the clasp for a minute, she smiled in satisfaction as it came together. She picked the cloth up. Tying it around her eyes, she ran to a nearby mirror. She gave a Cheshire cat smile to her reflection, and finally sprinted outside, back to Battleon.

* * *

Old Mrs. Peabody looked fondly at the row of houses. She had lived in Battleon for all her life. It was hectic at time, with the constant wars, and that little moglin –what was his name? Sorbet?- running around, saying he was the 'ebilist moglin' and threatening to hurt people, but she loved it anyways, quirks and all.

She took a few steps forward, and froze when something landed in front of her. She gasped and clutched her bag of groceries. The thing stood up, and she could see that it was someone with odd ears, wearing a cloak.

"I AM SUPERFELIX!" It yelled out "DEFENDER OF TEH INNOCENT!" The person finally noticed her. "MA'AM! LET ME HELP YOU WITH THOSE BAGS!"

The person suddenly grabbed her bags. Mrs. Peabody screamed, drew the hand with the bags over her head, and slammed the 'thief' over the head. "Nya!" Felix whined out, covering her head. "MA'AM, STAY CALM! I AM TRYING TO HELP!"

"Thief! Bandit!" She wailed as she gave 'Superfelix' another whack. Felix caught the bags, dashed off with them, and crashed into a nearby window.

The owners of the house stares, wide-eyed, as the 'superhero' stood up, and placed the groceries onto the (luckily) still intact table.

She placed her hands on her hips, and looked heroically out of the broken window. "GROCERIES HAVE BEEN DELIVERED; GOODBYE CITIZENS!" With that, Felix jumped out of the broken window and ran off.

A few moments later, Mrs. Peabody came, and looked to the owners (who had come outside). The owners looked back at her.. They all took a deep breath, and screamed out a single word.

"HEEEEELLLLLLLLPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!"

* * *

Near immediately, Rayne, Robina, and Maria appeared. "What's the problem?"

"T-this thing came out and tried to attack me! I defended myself, but it got away eventually."

"We were just sitting here, and then this thing crashed through the window. It got up, set these bags onto the table, said something about civilians, and jumped back through the window." The owners glowered at the window, then sighed and stared back to the three.

"Could you tell us what the attacker looked like?" Robina asked as she pulled out a notebook and quill, hand poised to write.

"It was wearing this mask, and a black an-"

"Black and white cloak?" Rayne interrupted. The owners and Mrs. Peabody nodded.

"Did it have cat ears?" Once again, they nodded.

"Felix." Rayne growled out angrily. "Robina; it's okay, we don't need your help anymore. You can go back to the inn." Robina closed her notebook and shrugged.

"Alright."

Maria gave a confused look to Rayne. "How can you tell it's Felix?" Rayne rubbed her temples, and shut her eyes, "'Cause only Felix would do something like this." Maria 'ahhed'. "What about the cloak?"

"She must've found it when she was cleaning earlier." Rayne sighed, and opened her eyes.

"Comon, were going to the forest."

"Why the forest?"

"'Cause knowing Felix, she's probably going to try and slay a monster." Maria 'ahhed' once more, and ran after Rayne.

* * *

Felix swished her tail as she crouched, hidden, in a tree.

'_Wish the monsters would come.' _She thought as she peered down below her. _'Speak of the devil.'_ She saw two approaching figures. _'Now how to do this…I know! I'll jump on the second one! Their friend should be too far ahead to hear by then.'_

Felix snickered happily, and hushed herself as the figures came closer. She waited until the first one had passed.

'3…' Felix leaned over slightly, and positioned herself to jump.

'2…' _'Why do I have a bad feeling all of a sudden?' Rayne thought as she passed another tree_

"ONE! SUPERFELIX ATTACK!" Felix voiced as she leapt out of the tree. Rayne blinked and stared up. "Oh crap."

Felix landed on Rayne's back and started clawing at her face. "Nya!" She hissed out, and gave a particularly good scratch.

"What the- GET THE HELL OFF OF ME!" Rayne roared out and tried to pull Felix of her. "MARIA HELP!!!"

Maria turned around, and gasped at the sight. She ran back to them, took hold of Felix's tale and pulled hard.

Felix froze suddenly, and shivered at the pain. Rayne grabbed Felix's wrists, and flipped her to the ground. Felix groaned quietly. Rayne shook her head, rubbed her face, and walked over to Felix.

"Alright Felix; funs over." Felix gasped and jumped to her feet. She pointed a finger in horror at Rayne.

"How did you know my secret identity?"

Rayne made a disgusted sound, and Maria looked at her sceptically. "Maybe it's the fact that you keep calling yourself Superfelix, not to mention you do stick out with the ears and all. And comon, how many people with cat ears do we know named Felix?"

"Uh…there's one!" Felix pointed out.

"Felix, that's a rock." Rayne sighed.

"No, that one!"

"That's a tee." Maria rolled her eyes.

"Over there!"

"Felix, that's a Lycan." They slapped their hands to their heads. "Wait…."

"THAT'S A LYCAN!" All 3 yelled out. Felix turned around and sprinted off, with Rayne, Maria, and the Lycan in tow, in that order.

"Felix, if we make it out of this, WERE GOING TO KILL YOU!" The two screamed at her.

"And I want my cloak back!"

The end…for now.

* * *

DA: **-stares at a still screaming Felix and Flame-** You know he's gone now.

Flame & Felix: OOOOOOOOOOOOO- He's gone?

Maria: **-nods-** Yup. He left right after the disclaimer.

Flame & Felix- oh. **–looks at each other- **NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

DA: -**glares-** anyways, that's the end of another chapter.


End file.
